150-word post or “Rejected Starbucks’ Commercial”

INT. STARBUCK’S COFFEE SHOP – DAY

A MALE CUSTOMER (50) and a YOUNG BARRISTA (18) are yelling at each other. A LARGE CROWD has gathered to watch the showdown. A cup of Starbuck’s coffee sits on the counter between them.

CUSTOMER
It’s large!

BARRISTA
It’s venti!

CUSTOMER
It’s your largest cup size, so I’d call it LARGE!

BARRISTA!
But we call it VENTI!

CUSTOMER
So it’s REALLY a LARGE, you mindwashed ROBOT!

BARRISTA
VENTI!

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CUSTOMER
LLLLLAAAAARRRRRRGGGEEEE!

BARRISTA
AAAARGH! Okay, fine, you big jerk! FINE! It’s not VENTI, it’s LARGE! Are you HAPPY!?!? ARE YOU HAPPY!?!?! I HATE YOU, DAD!

The BARRISTA bursts into tears and runs away bawling. As the crowd CHEERS, the customer hollers.

CUSTOMER
YOU’LL THANK ME FOR IT LATER!

TITLES: STARBUCKS. FUCK YOU, SIZE DESCRIPTORS THAT MAKE ANY SENSE.

The CUSTOMER picks up the coffee and pours it on the ground.

CUSTOMER
Stuff gives me the shits, anyway.

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